I have not been out in a sunrise for a very long time. My early mornings have been consumed by projects, readings, and rushing off to catch a ride to school with Tess. This morning I had a purpose. I was up at 5:30 a.m. to walk out into the new light and into a new day. I decided I would catch the sunrise this morning because on this day I will start a new page in my life.
Rob's horoscope from last Thursday (see earlier post) has got me thinking about that lack of harmony between my inner and outer self. They have been so out of whack for such a long time. It is not that I have been unaware, it's just that daily I dismiss it as the way things are in my life and that someday I will fix it. I find that I am constantly telling myself, "Later..."
Today I woke up with a clear conviction. No more unbalance. Attitude is everything; change is upon me and I embrace it. A change of heart, a change of mind, and a change in sincerity toward my future and those in my life are having a profound effect on that change in harmony of how I live and who I am.
Training as a landscape architect has brought me so much more than learning the points of practice and profession. It has sent me on a quest for answers about who I want to be. I am optimistic about my future. I see myself on a path that guides no one but me. About midway thru this semester I broke down and cried to my professor because I felt like I was letting so many people down. She came to the rescue like the true friend she has become and assured me that I was exactly where I needed to be and that no one was feeling let down. Yesterday, at our weekly, early morning meeting, she finally asked me where my path was taking me. With a short conversation about all this study and research I have been doing, we nailed it to the wall. Something so simple and so reassuring has finally settled into my life and a weight I have carried far too long has been lifted.
I am on my way. I am feeling passionate again about my studies and the decisions I am making about my life. I have renewed determination that from here on out, it will be ok. Better than ok. It will be harmony.